We Did Not Come Here to Be Inn-Keepers

I am currently reading the biography of Gladys Aylward, missionary to China. If you are looking for a good read and would like to learn more about an extraordinary woman, I would highly recommend it.

Near the beginning of her time in China, it is suggested to Gladys that she and her ministry partner open an inn in order to better connect with the locals. Distraught, Gladys replies, "But we did not come here to be inn-keepers!" To this, her ministry partner asks, "But how else will we reach them?"

This exchange closely mirrors the conversation that I have been having with God over the past few days. It will come as no surprise that I did not come to Chicago to work in a cafe. When people would ask me what I was moving to do, I would normally tell them urban youth ministry. That was the goal- possibly the whole point of moving here. I could see how I did with at-risk youth and then make a career decision based on my experiences. In theory, by the end of these seven months I would be able to discern if suburban or urban ministry was my calling.

In my head, this plan sounded excellent- easy and direct. Of course, as I write it down, I can easily recognize some flaws. While there are several, the most glaringly obvious is the fact that this plan deals exclusively with the Mindie Fields agenda. In this plan there is no room for flexibility or even much learning. Suffice it to say, my goals for my time in Chicago were not contingent on God's goals- and going into ministry, that can pose a pretty hefty problem.

Per usual, God took it upon himself to humble me and make me do things his way. The funny thing is that even though I know life works better when I'm not stubborn and hard-headed, I always seem to forget that until I'm reminded by having everything in my life turned upside down.

So I did not come here to work in a cafe. I was especially convinced of this when I spent my whole first day chopping an entire 50 lb bag of onions. As I sobbed my way through the bag, I couldn't help but wonder how many of the tears were from the onions and how many were shed from the idea that this was not what I had in mind when I moved 3 1/2 hours from everyone I know. As I chopped those onions, I conveniently forgot that ministry is not for self-glorification. That Bible Study I led, on missions glorifying God- all the wisdom found in that study went out the window as my head was filled with negative thought after negative thought.

I did not come here to work in a cafe- but God brought me here to work in a cafe. Those are two very different things, and I am always thankful that God has so much greater wisdom than I do. For the first time in my life, I am not walking into a ministry as the white girl who is helping the poor ethnic people. I'm not passing out food on trays expecting a word of gratitude, I'm not helping an impoverished child and telling her that she can go to college too and be just like me. No, at the cafe, I am equals with the women I am working with. Some of them are members of a drug-treatment facility, but does that put us on different levels? Not at all. We all have to clean, chop, create, and get worn out together. We laugh together, we share our stories, and we poke fun at each other. If anything, I am relying on these women to help me figure out what in the world I'm doing working in food service for the first time in my life.

No, I did not come to Chicago to work in a cafe, but working there has brought me into a whole new level of ministry. It's the kind of ministry where people take care of each other and transparency is possible. It's relational ministry at it's finest, where we can be coworkers, sisters in Christ, friends. It's the kind of ministry where I have become the learner instead of the teacher. And seeing what I've learned in only three days, I can't wait to see what I'm taught over the next six months!