Hitting the Breaks

As you've no doubt noticed, it's been quite awhile since my last post. I assure you this is not from lack of desire to blog. Instead, my absence has been result of complete immersion in my ministry- and as a result, total exhaustion and near burn out.

Here's what a typical day for me has looked like as of late:

Sunday: 8:30am-3pm- Project Nehemiah (transporting kids from the Ickes and Dearborn Homes and other areas on the Southside to and from church)

Monday: 11am-4pm- Cafe

Tuesday: 11am-4pm- Cafe (and soon teaching a class on sexuality in the evening)

Wednesday: 11am-4pm- Cafe.... 6:30pm-9:30pm Real Talk 678 small groups

Thursday: 10am-2pm- shopping for the Cafe... 6:30pm-9pm- Driven Youth Ministry

In addition, I was often hosting on the weekends. Even though my boss Kelly would urge me to take a day off, she would often have to force me to do this or I would work straight through.

I LOVE ministry. I adore serving God's people to the full extent. That said, this kind of schedule is ridiculous. It's not ok to never have time for dishes, laundry, the grocery store, calling home- activities otherwise known as LIFE.

This week God forced me to hit my breaking point. To be blunt, this week has been a pretty terrible one. It was one of my busiest weeks yet, and instead of being filled with amazing spiritual experiences, it has been riddled with incidents that have caused me to be bitter, irritable, and cross with many people who did not deserve it. I don't think I was a particularly pleasant individual to be around the past four days, and I apologize if I was rude to any one reading this blog.

God has once again reminded me that I have two choices- listen and be obedient, or go my own way and make things difficult. It seems like I really enjoy the latter of the two, despite the fact that things ALWAYS end up being way more difficult than is necessary! I'm discovering that it is possible to be disobedient in your ministry, if that ministry is taking precedence over God himself. After all, if the point of ministry is to glorify God, it does seem a bit contradictory to do so much ministry that you neglect to spend time in the Word and only pray in a corporate worship setting.

So that said, I'm working to revise my schedule. I'm going to have Wednesdays completely off from the cafe, so I will only be working at CSM doing some light office work and then having youth time in the evenings. I'm also experimenting with firming up my boundaries. From now on, my answer is no. There is no possible way that I can get involved with any more ministries and stay sane, or be a positive asset to the ministry. I'm going to spend the next three months learning how to limit myself.

It's time to actually discipline myself in the practice of rest.